REconceiveIT

A journal of imagination, experience, and discovery

For everyone who’s suffered a miscarriage, I don’t need to tell you how difficult it is. It is the death of a dream. The death of a hope. The death of a family member. The death of a child. It is difficult no matter how hard you twist and rotate your perspective. There is no good way to look at it because there is nothing good about it. My wife and I have struggled immensely with growing a family. There are more burials in the forest next to my house than I care to talk about. You’d think it gets easier. It does not. It gets harder. Harder to allow yourself to be happy. Harder to get excited. Harder to hope in the next pregnancy. Hope becomes this secret thing that you keep to yourself. You want to get excited about making plans and picking out names, but you know that names on burials hurt more. Bigger dreams leave bigger holes.

Not long ago I was hoping in the secret way you do when bad news came calling once again. With eyes squinted and fingers crossed I stared into the static. searching with anxious dread for that flashing blip on the screen. Where is it? Maybe the nurse isn’t doing it right. The doctor looks concerned. My poor wife… 

…“I’m sorry but we don’t see a heartbeat anymore. Would you like to schedule a DNC or go home for this miscarriage?”

Weeks go by at home waiting to miscarry but nothing happens. We go back in for a follow-up ultrasound and this time they discover a giant mass attached to her uterus. By all indications this an AVM (arteriovenous malformation) except it’s the size of a grapefruit. The doctors have never seen or heard of an AVM this size before. They are reluctant to call it an AVM and do not confirm it as such. But it’s the closest diagnosis they have.

So, my wife wins the lottery again, just not the good kind you want to win. She wins another life-threatening rare medical anomaly that healthcare professionals are leery to diagnose. She’s placed on (another) high risk “wait and see” protocol. Surgery would cause a massive and immediate hemorrhaging, so for now we wait. We go back for check-ups every 2 weeks to measure size and blood flow. And every 2 weeks it’s exactly the same. No change. She continues to be at a high risk of rupturing 24/7 around the clock. And the current plan is still – do nothing. It goes on like this for months…

Meanwhile, I am taking a Bride Ministries course in Advanced Deliverance. (Yes, God works in mysterious ways.) We happen to be working through a set of very specific deliverance prayers and I start using them. I keep going back to a particular prayer about spiritual tattoos. My wife has a tattoo on her back that I don’t like. It’s the “eye of Ra” sigil. So I start praying for deliverance from fallen heavenly powers (Ra) connected with that tattoo. I do this privately on behalf of my wife.

I started taking authority over my wife’s body in the spirit. I declared that we are married and we are ONE flesh. That I have rights over our (her) body as her husband. That I have spiritual authority as the head of the marriage to fight for her body as my own. That it is my body to defend. I even repented on behalf of her body. I broke bondage to fallen heavenly powers on behalf of her body. I renounced all agreement with that tattoo. I bound and cast out all spirits of infirmity affecting her body.

As I was praying, I imagined my wife’s body completely transparent and lying prostrate in space. I asked God to show me anything in her body that was not hers in the third heaven. I saw a black blob forming on her uterus. This black blob is was not transparent like the rest of her body. It was solid. I saw Jesus standing next to her with a sword as I prayed. And he just watches me praying for a minute or two. And then He says, ‘do you want to do it?’ and He hands me the sword.

I grabbed that sword and swung it like a ninja. The blade passed through her transparent body like nothing was there. Only the black blob had mass and the blade only affected the black blob. I began to get surgical with the blade. I use it to surgically remove the black blob from her uterus. And when I finished, I got out of the bathtub, got dressed, and went to work. 

A few days later my wife came back from a checkup. I didn’t go to it because it had become routine by this point and the demands of work didn’t care. The last 10 checkups were all the same. But this time it was different and my wife says, “You’re never going to believe what happened today…” 

“…The nurse was performing the ultrasound when she suddenly stopped with a look of confusion. She asked if I had surgery between my last visit and now. And of course I sad no. Then she left and came back with the doctor. He did an ultrasound and asked me the same question! I asked him what was going on. He says “I don’t know what happened, but it looks you had surgery. There is no AVM in your uterus. Whatever was there appears to have been cleanly removed. There is no abnormal tissue and the situation seems to be resolved”

It wasn’t until this point that I told my wife about my prayers. We are now looking into ways of having her tattoo removed.

This is the God I serve!!!